Frontpage of London Times, Year 31ish? on the Sea. January 6th probably
THEY DID, INDEED, BRING THE LIGHT
Two days ago, on the northern shores of Scotland, some brave (and foolhardy) fishermen working during the darkest hours of the day were just minding their own business when they noticed a large stormfront in the north. They thought little of it at first, until they realized that the storm was rather bright, and that the flashes of light didn’t quite seem right. They realized they saw a battle of momentous proportions eventually, one that lasted for several hours until it ended with one, last massive boom, and for a moment the horizon was lit in such a way as to resemble something long forgotte, a dawn. (Editor’s Note: Dawn is that phenomenon where ‘sun’ rises and lights up the day. We felt that our younger readers need a reminder about what that term means)
Now we know what that battle was about, as HMS Lightbringer and their rather sizable allies arrived in London, and regaled the tale of the Red Fleet’s mad plan. That madman, Red Admiral, had decided to launch an assault on London, while we were weak from our fleets responding to some sort of crisis to the East, and he had created a monstrous juggernaut of such size and power that it rivaled HMS Hotspur itself! This monster ship was heading towards our capital to drown it in fire and blood, and had it not been for the crew of HMS Hotspur and their near-mythical allies, they may have succeeded at it! But London stands, and that madman lurking in the North with his crazed fire-fanatics has failed his mad plot! While we cannot confirm this completely yet, we have received word that Princess-Admiral herself has promised to give out a rather sizable reward to these heroes.
Captain Wellington, First Mate Jack O’ Scratch, Gunnery Officer Pinkerton, Ship Surgeon Koltsov, Spotter McCreed, and all the other members of HMS Lightbringer’s crew, London thanks you. We here at London Times are also proud to announce that we have the EXCLUSIVE STORY OF THE HEROIC JOURNEY OF HMS HOTSPUR, as one of our intrepid writers has travelled amongst these heroes for several months, documenting their incredible journey.
And that is not all! We have just received word from the Palace itself, that we are allowed to publish the uncensored story! You read it correctly! In the coming weeks we shall tell you the story of these heroes, and how they eventually saved us all from the traitors.
The Giants and Other Strange Things
HMS Lightbringer was also accompanied by a strange, massive but somewhat primitive ship, crewed by, yes, the rumors you have most likely heard were correct, mythical giants. No, we are not lying. Yes, giants. Most of them don’t seem to speak much in the way of English though, so we do not really know much about them. They seemed to be somewhat taken aback by London though, as is to be expected considering how their ship seems to be so primitive. Incredibly huge though.
There was also the strange severely wounded being on the deck of HMS Lightbringer, a creature just as massive as the giants, albeit far more monstrous looking, of which we do not currently have much information about. Our contacts in the Admiralty have stated that the creature has caused some severe headache for officials already, as it seems like some sort of dispute between Bastion and London is already brewing regarding it. There are even rumors that the creature is one of those Aristocratic Devils we have heard rumors about, but we cannot currently confirm this rumor. It seems likely though, considering how it seems to have quickly caused some issues between our Empire and the infernal folks at Bastion.
We also have pictures of a group of four strange looking monsters, that still exude this air of honorability somehow. We have asked Lord Maximillian Reese-Mogg the Third his opinion on them, and he agrees that there is something inherently noble regarding these strange beings. We would also like to inform you that Lord Maximillian Reese-Mogg the Third has extended an invitation to this group, whose leader we believe is called Mazhek the Blade, to visit him at his mansion on 76 Northstreet. So if you see a strange, dark blueish sorta insectlike four-armed humanoid leading a group of similarly strange beings walking around, tell him(?) about Lord Macimillian Reese-Mogg the Third’s invitation.
Is Something Wrong With Fire?
We can’t believe we are writing this blurb. But have you had any recent troubles with starting fires? We here at the London Times offices have recently been having some issues with our fireplace, these last two days in fact, and we know we aren’t the only ones. The fire in our fireplace seems to have trouble burning wood for some reason, although it still heats and lights up the place. It just fails to burn properly. If you have had similar experiences, send us a letter detailing your experiences, details on the other side of this page. Our expert on all things fire, the devil Xerzenort, is completely baffled.