On our way to a place of worship we were quite annoyed
when our ship had to race a storm of darkness and void.
We faced malfunctions, sabotage and witches
but finally triumphed and were rewarded with riches.
Natives were grateful having reached an island fit for ballads
and promised us purifying rituals in waters blessed by the gods.
There were pitfalls to be met in their most sacred hall
as some of the party had a bit too much gall.
Receiving the blessing was a simple task of meditating
but not all managed to have the understanding,
that the blessed pool was a place most holy
and certainly not one for undue folly.
Instead of trying to properly focus
Jack did a show of hocus pocus.
It did the trick and Jack got his blessing
although his methods seemed a bit distressing.
Our cook had an accident in the pool
and even though he tried to play it cool
the gods saw it fit to put a curse on his person,
so he fasted for a week and nearly ate his apron.
The devil named Jack went to meet his old friend Goat
and admitted to no mistakes but instead chose to gloat
how he won over darkness and accused Old Goat of being dull,
even when the fault lies with Jack and Bastion’s black metal hull.
Old Goat was not amused and ordered a big fellow with a club
to follow Jack around close enough to give a backrub,
only with orders to give the slippery Jack a terrible head ringer
if he tried to slither away without fixing the Lightbringer.
-An excerpt from The Fantastical Journeys of Lugos Lugadovic Gyffes